Trolls and Cysts

Righto, my turn to update! I'm not going to detail every single day as they're not all that interesting, and Andy's blog was a tad long... I said BLOG...

On Day 30 we went to Niagara Falls, which was wicked. You can never really anticipate how big it's going to be (what is it with all the willy references in my blog...) until you see it. We went on Maid of the Mist, which is the boat that goes under the falls - you get absolutely drenched but they provide you with fashionable ponchos. I bought a book about the daredevils who threw themselves over the falls throughout the years - wallies, but brave wallies. Some people did it in a barrel, some in weird boat type things, and some kid fell over it and survived, somehow! We wandered around Niagara, where you need to get a mortgage to buy anything, and ended up in the Hershey Store, mmmm. After about three hours in there we found a cheap place that did fish n chips - how I miss English food, slurp. In the evening they had fireworks over the falls, which was really cool, and there was a wicked rainbow over them too.

Later in the evening me and Andy played 'what would you rather do?' to quench our slight boredom (there's only so much you can do in Toronto, particularly on a budget!) and I thought I'd detail the... details, because they made me giggle:

A: Would you rather eat Colin's bogies, or give Danny DeVito a blow job?
K: How many bogies would I have to eat?
A: It's a particularly snotty day.
K: ... [undecided]

K: Would you rather wear a skirt, or women's shoes, for a day?
A: Hm, a skirt could be liberating... would I have to wear underwear?

Ahem. So back to the blog...

The next three days were spent on a train travelling across Canada to get from East to West. This was actually more fun that I thought it'd be - us poor people could only afford reclining chairs rather than the sleeping quarters, but I still slept okay. [who is making toast in this damn cafe?] The scenery of the prairies and rockies was AMAZING. A lot of it (Manitoba, bits of Seskatchewan) is just flat, but other bits (BC, Alberta) are really scenic. The meals were cheap too, though apparently served by the Mayor of Munchkinland.

On Day 33 we arrived in Edmonton, and checked in at the University of Alberta (did your cousin go there by any chance, Shel?) for three nights. The next day we went to the West Edmonton Mall, which is absolmolutely hayuuuuuge: over 800 stores, 20-odd restaurants, Galaxyland theme park (biggest indoor rollercoaster which was well good, though I think I got slight whiplash *cracks neck*), ice skating (or in Andy's case, Bambi on Ice), sea lion show (I couldn't decide if this was cruel to animals or not) and huge waterpark with the biggest waves I've ever seen (we stole some rubber hoops).

After arriving late at the station to go to Vancouver, and an extremely well-timed derailment, we got on a provided coach to Jasper and picked up the train from there. How flukey are we? Flukier than Flukeman. *Waits for no one to get the reference*

Upon arriving in Vancouver we accidentally went to a gay bar for lunch ("Kate, there's some very strange artwork in the loos...") and I woke up the next day to the worse sore throat in history. Went to the doc's as thought I had Tonsilitis, he charged me $100 (50 quid) for the appointment (which, thankfully, I can claim on the insurance) and after drawing me a (frankly quite rude-looking) diagram on the paper sheet that covers the bed, told me it was just a really bad sore throat and that I'd wasted $100. Aren't doctors lovely? He did, however, experience some sort of aneurysm when I showed him the weird bump on my foot, which turned out to be a Ganglion Cyst. Apparently it doesn't need removing if it doesn't bother me, and to be honest I've quite grown to like it, so I'm leaving it.

The next day we went to Stanley Park which is a huge park near the beach with lots of wildlife and toned rollerbladers. We walked along the sea wall, I got indigestion and threw up back at the hostel, and then went out and bought a whole chemist for my ailments.

The next day we began our West Tour of Canada. In brief, we went to a few ski resorts (some tacky, some nice), lots of lakes and waterfalls, gondola trips and hikes (a lot of it on our own though, rather than dictated by the Moose tour guide). One of the hostels had an outdoor hot tub, which ruled. Had to keep getting out because of the heat! Was really surreal sitting in a hot tub looking out at mountains and lakes :)

Lake Shuswap was cool too - snorkelled in lovely warm lake and played with a random (perhaps slightly frisky) dog. Was 34 degrees that day too, mmmm. I'm getting a nice tan, but only on the top half, so need to get the bottom done.

On the way to Banff we stopped to go Go-Karting, which I'd never done before. Is really fun, though get smashed into and ending up horizontal across the track was a tad scary! The streets in Banff are named after animals, which makes it feel like you're in some sort of Beatrix Potter book, hee. Caribou Street. Moose Street. Bear Street.

Oh I almost forgot Beaver Street.

We arrived really late at Althabasca, where we stayed at a rustic (read: shed) hostel with a hole for a toilet and MRSA alcohol gel to clean with. Enter Selfish McMeMeMe who ate almost all of the group meal we made, and then stole poor little Manou (sweet Dutch guy)'s bed. We also suspect he stole the Althabasca Falls on the way back. On the way to the next place we saw a bear, at last! Was a baby too, awwww.

Back in Banff again we hiked up Sulphur Mountain and went to the hot springs (bloody hot!). The next day or so we went to Lake Louise, the colour of which is really nice - kind of emerald/cyan. Apparently in the winter you can skate on it and see through it to the fish underneath! It was really serene and quiet, and you felt like you should whisper. Icefields Parkway Glacier was also cool - we walked across a big mountain of ice. In 2001 a nine-year-old boy fell down a crevass and and died of hypothermia, so they're tough on which areas you're allowed to step on. We went for a trail ride up to a teahouse in the mountain (Lake Agnes), led by a sixteen-year-old, which felt a bit weird! She was called Britney and talked a lot. My horse looked like a Fresian cow and was called Oreo. Bless. That evening we chatted with Nao, a Japanese guy, and he made little notes in his book of English words. We asked what words he's learnt so far, so he opens his book and goes, "erm... 'holy shit' and... 'bloody hell'". This made us laugh, heheheh... We taught him other poo-related expletives and he seemed quite grateful.

On the way to Revelstoke (where we are now) we stopped at a Wolf Sanctuary, which was really good. We howled with the wolfies and learnt about Bear Dogs, which are kept there and used to establish boundaries between bears and humans by chasing bears back into their territory whenever they embark on human land. When they get far enough back the dogs are called off (no bears are hurt, and it's much better than the traditional solution of shooting the bears dead!). There was a cat there who thinks it's a dog, and eats dog food and brings the dogs 'gifts' of small mice. I want one of these.

Well that's about it for now, thank lemon! My fingers hurt and your eyes are sore, so I'll shut up now and go and get some lunch. Mmmm, white chocolate Reese's Cups...

[edit] dammit, just as long as Andy's... (giggle) [/edit]